I Think These Just Might Be Some Masterpieces

THE BEST FILMS OF 2009

I had no problem picking out ten excellent films from the hundred plus that I saw this year. I even listed a dozen or more films that were nearly as excellent and just missed the cut. But despite having seen some extraordinary films this year, I can’t help but think that this was a fairly weak year of cinema. I’m not just talking about the attempted summer blockbusters, which there seemed to be more of, and almost all worse than usual, this year. Even many of the prestige films seemed to fail to deliver this year. Films like UP IN THE AIR, CRAZY HEART, INVICTUS, and BROTHERS were all good films, but they lacked that little extra thing that made them stand out in the sea of other releases. As soon as I stepped out of the theatre, I was finished thinking about them. They didn’t stay with me, and that seemed to happen with too many films this year. But that wasn’t the case with all of them, so please enjoy my list of the best films of the year. I guarantee that these ten films will stay with you for weeks after you see them.

1. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS -“Inglourious Basterds” is the best film of the year, and I’m as surprised as you are. While Quentin Tarantino is admittedly one of the most visionary and exciting auteurs working today, his films, in recent years, have become fun exercises in homage and tone, rather than simply great examples of storytelling. Much of “Kill Bill” and “Death Proof,” while both great films, were often nearly shot for shot remakes of B movies we’ve never seen, but Quentin has. While it has many warm, familiar elements of British films of spies and espionage, and the pacing and music of some of the greatest spaghetti westerns, “Basterds” never feels like Tarantino is imitating or paying careful homage to the films of others. It always feels like its own, unique story, but in the styles of film genres that simply aren’t made anymore. The result is an incredibly entertaining experience that improves with each viewing. Each of the film’s five acts could almost work as stand alone short films, with each one presenting a situation of extreme, nail-biting tension, followed by an exhausting release. I also can’t neglect to mention how tremendously funny the film is, which often helps reprieve the audience of said tension, just when they need it the most. I think we all took a momentary sigh of relief when Colonel Hans Landa revealed his enormously comical pipe in the film’s nail-bitingly intense opening scene. Ah yes. I can’t go on any longer without acknowledging the performance of Christophe Waltz, who, with help from Tarantino, gave us one of the greatest screen villains in decades. Every line that came out of Waltz’ mouth was read in a way that no other actor could ever conceive, making each precious moment of Landa surprising and thrilling. Credit must be given to the rest of the exceptional cast, Brad Pitt, Melanie Laurent, Michael Fassbender, Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl, and Mike Myers, for making up the best ensemble of the year. While I always eagerly anticipate the next Tarantino film, suddenly I feel like I’ve discovered him for the first time all over again, and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with next.

2. THE HURT LOCKER -“The Hurt Locker” had already been in theatres for a few weeks before I got around to see it. Despite all the rave reviews, I just didn’t feel like putting myself through that experience. Plus. Hollywood has had a pretty weak track record with modern war films. When I finally did see it, I was so glad I did. While films like “Stop Loss” and “Home of the Brave” have been tedious, schmaltzy, and preachy, “The Hurt Locker” succeeds at being a fantastically suspenseful action film that just happens to be about real life heroes in a real life setting. Jeremy Renner is the finest star that was created this year, and I hope we have decades more of excellent performances from him. His portrayal of a bomb disarmer addicted to war was an action hero unlike any we had seen before. Stallone and Schwarzenegger have played over the top, testosterone-filled, death-scoffing, meat-bags before, but Renner’s Sgt. William James takes things a step further and brings us a man who may be afraid of death, but has accepted the inevitability that he will die, and is at peace with that, as long as he can be saving lives as it happens. In almost every scene of the film, there is a potential life-ending tragedy seconds away from happening. My stomach was knotted the entire film, never knowing when one of those bombs could go off. It’s the only film I’ve seen that seems to give the audience the same feeling as the people its portraying, only the characters on screen can’t afford to have their stomachs knotted. This is a masterpiece of suspense and drama. I fully expect Kathryn Bigelow to be the first woman ever to win a Best Director Oscar next month, and it will be much deserved.

3. A SERIOUS MAN -It seemed like I couldn’t read a review of “A Serious Man” that didn’t make a big deal about what an incredibly personal film it must be for the Coen Brothers. After all, they both grew up in the 60’s in the Midwest. They’re both Jewish and attended Hebrew school. Too much credit has been given to their history, when we should be praising the brilliant Brothers Coen, who have managed, once again, to give us a dark, funny, and wholly original morality tale that ranks high up with some of their best work. Stage veteran Michael Stuhlbarg anchors the film as Larry Gopnik, a man who feels he’s constantly being tested by God, as he tries to stay calm, composed, and serious while his world chaotically comes crashing down around him. Every time he looks for answers he is greeted by meaningless proverbs and silly fables, leaving him more lost than ever in a world that is turning less to God and more to the wisdom of rock and roll. After watching the film, I see it less of a reflection of the Coens’ own upbringing, and more like a mirror of the society I’m currently living in. How soon before that tornado comes for me?

4. UP -Pixar once again establishes itself as the most consistently excellent studio today, bringing us a beautiful and spectacular adventure story that not only covers the demographic of eight to eighty, but also assigns those ages to its two stars. I don’t know a single person who didn’t, at the very least, get choked up during the first ten minutes of this film. I shed more than a few tears every time I watch the film. The wordless sequence of the lifetime shared between Carl and Ellie is one of the most beautiful love stories ever committed to film. While the rest of the film becomes more of a straight up action adventure story, it is not the least bit less thrilling. Animated film staples such as flying sequences and talking animals get reinvented here. A child and an adult can see this film, take away completely different things from it, and still both love it all the same. Even ultra serious, German filmmaker Werner Herzog, (whose “Fitzcarraldo” provided some inspiration for the film), called the film “wonderful.” Pixar: the studio that can melt a German man’s heart.

5. IN THE LOOP -We look to political satires for films that will make us feel smart while we laugh, but I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed harder at a sharper film than “In the Loop.” On the eve of a declaration of war with a Middle Eastern country, British and American cabinet members and political underlings scramble to either ensure or prevent the “foreseeable” war. As ridiculous and over the top as things get in this film, it always feels incredibly believable, to the point that you feel as if you could be watching a documentary. The stupid politicians are stupid in a very recognizable way. The political figures in the film say innocent statements that go just off-message enough that they are instantly used against them and interpreted in any way that can benefit each political agenda. The film moves so fast that if your mind wanders for even a second you may find yourself completely lost. The terrifically game cast, including Tom Hollander, James Gandolfini, Gina McKee, David Rasche, and Mimi Kennedy all work wonders, but special credit has to be given to the unbelievable Peter Capaldi, who can utter a curse word in a way that makes you believe you’re hearing the word for the first time. Capaldi deserves an Oscar nod for his performance and the film deserves to be discovered by as many people as possible.

6. THE INFORMANT! -Between this and his criminally underrated film “The Girlfriend Experience,” Steven Soderbergh had a great year giving us films about people with secrets, and what happens when they are forced to fess up. “The Informant!” tells the unbelievably true story of Mark Whitacre, a man who seems to be the only one brave enough to tell the truth in a business of lying criminals, only to be exposed as the biggest liar of all. Matt Damon gives the best performance of his career as Whitacre, playing him with a sincere earnestness that is so convincing he is able to fool everyone, including himself. Whitacre’s lies are so deep that even he doesn’t know what’s true anymore by the end of his adventure, and the audience leaves scratching their heads as well, in the best possible way. Soderbergh livens up the realistically bland procedural with candy colored pastels, a bouncy score, and some of the best modern stand-up comedians in supporting roles. But all the frosting on this cake never masks the fascinating story being told here. This stranger than fiction tale should have screenwriters everywhere paying closer attention to the news. You never know if a story buried on page C-12 of the newspaper could end up making an incredibly entertaining film.

7. THE MESSENGER -The fact that I have two Iraq war themed films on this list gives me hope for Hollywood’s treatment of the subject from now on. Like “The Hurt Locker,” “The Messenger” never takes a position in favor of or against the war, but instead tells a deeply human story about those affected by it. Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster never rehearsed or met their co-stars for the scenes in which they inform families that their loved ones have died serving their country. These scenes could have been reduced to clichés and easily labeled, (such as “the one with the pregnant girlfriend,” or “the one with the angry father”), but each of these moments comes across as organic, natural, and devastating. Harrelson has never been better, and is the only actor who could potentially upset Christophe Waltz at the Oscars this year. Foster finally comes into his own as a true leading man, after the last few years of playing scenery-chewing villains in bad films. His scenes with the always exquisite Samantha Morton make for my favorite love story of the year, one of tepid understanding and little romance. I don’t think there’s a single character in the film that isn’t grieving someone or something, and after watching this film, you too will feel their pain.

8. GOODBYE SOLO -Ramin Bahrani has recently become one of the best new filmmakers working today, with films like “Chop Shop” and “Man Push Cart.” He tells stories of immigrant life in America in a way that feels deeply personal and authentic. “Goodbye Solo,” which is Bahrani’s finest film yet, is the story of Solo, a cab driver who suspects one of his elderly customers may be planning to kill himself. Not sure what to do, Solo forces himself into the old man’s life as much as he can, in an effort to become his friend and possibly save his life. The interaction between actors Souleymane Sy Savane and Red West are often wordless, but there is a strong connection constantly being made between them. Along with “The Messenger,” this is the best film I’ve seen this year about reluctant friendship between two people and the transformation their lives go through because of it. The ending of this film is one of the saddest and most hauntingly beautiful things I’ve ever seen on film. I urge you to seek out this unforgettable film. You will not be disappointed, but you might be crying.

9. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE -I’m amazed that this film didn’t enjoy the same kind of overwhelming success a film like “Avatar” received. I personally blame all of those people out there who were constantly saying “It’s not a children’s movie. It’s made for adults.” Too many people listened and left their kids at home. While an adult is likely to see a completely different film here than a child might, this is an extraordinary film that should be marveled at by anyone who has ever been a child, even if they still currently are one. The one thing that everyone seems able to agree on is that Spike Jonze nailed the look and art direction of the film, taking Maurice Sendak’s iconic images and bringing them to life. By placing these spectacular creatures in real life environments, he seemed to enhance the fantasy aspect of the look of the creatures, while making them seem incredibly relatable at the same time. Credit must be given to the voice performers, such as James Gandolfini, Catherine, O’Hara, and Chris Cooper, for giving the Wild Things a human touch, and turning the giant pillow suits into living, breathing, human emotions. How grateful I am that Jonze didn’t invent an intricate story or have Max and the Wild Things go on some bullshit adventure involving villainous wizards or magic crystals. The story is a blank slate that Jonze allows us to fill in ourselves, and promises never to be exactly the same twice.

10. REVANCHE -I was incredibly angry after seeing the trailer for this Austrian film, because it appeared to give a detailed summary of the entire story, up to what looked to be a natural and predictable ending for a familiar revenge story. However “Revanche” is far more than a simple revenge tale, and I’ll try to be as vague as possible in discussing the plot because I want you all to discover the film for yourselves. After an unfortunate attempt of a bank robbery, a man begins to seek revenge on the unfortunate policeman who interfered with the robbery. That’s all I feel I can say in telling you about this heart-pounding thriller that surprises with its many plot developments, as well as the emotions and sympathies you will feel while watching it. Johannes Krisch is entrancing in the lead role, with an unforgettable face that I can’t get out of my head. The film is soaked in tragedy and remorse but it never feels depressing. I’d love for America to be able to make a heist or revenge film with this much thought and purpose, rather than just Liam Neesan calmly whispering into telephones.

SPECIAL AWARDS

THE AGE OF ANIMATION

In addition to Pixar’s exceptional film UP, 2009 brought us at least half a dozen extraordinary animated films this year that easily could have made my top ten list. Wes Anderson finally found what might be his perfect medium with the stop motion film FANTASTIC MR. FOX. The impeccable design, style, and casual, sly whimsy that Anderson brings to all his films worked better than it has in years with the hilarious and fun adaptation that would have made Roald Dahl proud.

We’re usually lucky to get one great stop motion film every five years or so, but this year we got three more. Henry Selick’s CORALINE was something special that I haven’t seen in years: a children’s film that was actually scary. The dark fairy tale would have given me nightmares when I was younger and I love that these kinds of films are still being made. Then we also got the little seen “$9.99,” an Australian indie that was a beautiful, claymation meditation on the meaning of life. Finally, the delightfully bizarre Belgium film, A TOWN CALLED PANIC, was like a child playing with action figures for 80 minutes, but using them for a wonderfully, silly story.

We also got a glorious return of hand drawn animation with Miyazaki’s adorable PONYO and Disney lush return to magical fairy tales with THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. There’s something very special about seeing ink and paint on film, especially when the color palate is this beautiful. This may not be quite the classic that something like “Beauty and the Beast” was, but it’s still so nice to see one of these films again after so many years of them being gone.

This was the best year for animation that I can ever remember. Even Robert Zemeckis got closer to perfecting his motion capture style with the surprisingly effective A CHRISTMAS CAROL. In most years, the Animated Feature category at the Oscars reserves a spot for that year’s excellent Pixar film and fills out the other two slots with whatever bland Shrek or Ice Age sequels came out that year. This year we’re guaranteed to have some excellent films shut out of that category. It’s a damn shame, but consider yourselves lucky and update your Netflix queue.

THE SPECTACULAR RETURN OF SCIENCE FICTION

I just mentioned Robert Zemeckis improving his motion capture technique this year with “A Christmas Carol,” which reminds me of a story. It’s called “The Tortoise and the Hare.” The hare (Robert Zemeckis) has been tinkering with the motion capture technology for several years now, since “The Polar Express.” He has directed three films using the process, and produced a few more. With each film, the animation looks a little smoother and the films get a little better. Clearly one of these days this man is going to perfect the style and achieve greatness. But you see, there’s this tortoise (James Cameron). He hasn’t made a film in 12 years, and has no experience using motion capture animation, but damn if he doesn’t trump everything Zemeckis and others have been doing for the last ten years with the spectacular epic AVATAR.

Despite its overly familiar story, this film dazzled me, (and 500 million dollars worth of Americans, and counting), with its special effects that for once seemed really truly special. The visuals were awe inspiring and looked unlike anything we had seen before. Even with a possible Best Picture win in its future, I can’t call it a perfect film, but I have to credit it for just being just plain fun, and a movie that successfully lived up the hype that America was so trying to resist.

And just as Cameron has succeeded making a stunning science fiction epic for at least 300 million dollars, Neil Blomkamp demonstrated that you an make a film that rivals AVATAR’s action and special effects for a mere 30 million dollars. Blomkamp’s DISTRCT 9 may have lost a little steam in its second half, but it showed that you don’t need Michael Bay and overinflated budget to make a great action film with impressive CGI. And actor Sharlto Copley deserves an Oscar nod for his performance of a government worm, turned hero. Watching his transformation (not just his physical one), was a great surprise that I never saw coming, almost as if Paul Reiser’s character from “Aliens” suddenly became the hero and moral compass of that film.

And finally, I must give a shout out to J.J. Abrams’ reboot of STAR TREK, a film that managed to make me care about a franchise I knew virtually nothing about, and never thought I’d want to. The story itself may not have been much to speak of, but it was tons of fun to watch these iconic characters meet and start a new history, and the fresh-faced cast made it all the better. The funny and charismatic Chris Pine could just be the star of the year, and delivered on all his buzz in a way that I’m not sure Sam Worthington has yet. I’m going to say something now that I never thought I would: I can’t wait for the next “Star Trek” movie. Wow. That was weird.

HONORABLE MENTION

These films didn’t quite make my list, but they’re all fine films that deserve to be seen.

ADVENTURELAND -An 80’s throwback with a soul, rather than broad clichés and Journey songs.

AN EDUCATION -An excellent ensemble cast delivers the best coming of age story in years.

ANVIL: THE STORY OF ANVIL -A powerful documentary about so much more than just music.

BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS -Werner Herzog gets just the right amount of crazy out of Nicholas Cage, who reminds you just what a great actor he really is.

BIG FAN -Comic Patton Oswalt is seriously good in this film about extreme loyalty to his favorite team at the cost of his own happiness.

BROKEN EMBRACES -Pedro Almodovar gives melodrama a good name with this dark, sad, and mysterious love story.

BRONSON -Tom Hardy gives a star-making performance in this over the top, clownish, real life prison drama.

DRAG ME TO HELL -Proof that a studio can put out a horror movie with original scares and laughs. Hopefully Sam Raimi will return to such fare now that he’s shaken Spidey.

FUNNY PEOPLE -Judd Appatow’s underrated third feature wasn’t perfect, but deserves to be seen for all it gets right and Adam Sandler’s touching and harsh performance.

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE -Soderbergh transcended stunt casting by putting Sasha Grey in the role of a high priced escort in this small, simple, but fascinating film.

GOOD HAIR -Chris Rock’s documentary on the black hair-care industry was far more provocative and fascinating than I ever expected from him. Oh. But it was funny too.

THE HANGOVER -Nothing new or original, but refreshing to see a fresh faced cast of three truly funny people, rather than big stars going through the motions. I’m looking at you, cast of “Couples Retreat.”

HUMPDAY -Part hilarious buddy comedy, part serious relationship study. Mark Duplas, Joshua Leonard, and Alycia Delmore made up my favorite on screen couple of the year.

I LOVE YOU, MAN -The other great comedy of the year about man love. These days, no one makes a funnier straight man than Paul Rudd.

JUST ANOTHER LOVE STORY -This Danish film takes the premise of “While You Were Sleeping” and creates one of the darkest and exciting thrillers in years.

OF TIME AND THE CITY -Terence Davies’ poetic essay about the changes he and his hometown of Liverpool have gone through over time is sad and beautiful. My favorite documentary of the year.

A SINGLE MAN -Tom Ford makes a stunning directorial debut with a film that is perhaps a bit over stylized, but still quite lovely.

WORLD’S GREATEST DAD -Bobcat Goldthwait makes another dark, shocking, and original film, starring Robin Williams, giving perhaps the best performance of his career.

THE WORST FILMS OF 2009

I try not to go see terrible movies, if I can help it. That’s why you won’t see “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” “The Uglyl Truth,” or “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” on this list. I haven’t seen them. With a few exceptions, all these titles were films that I had hoped would be good. It didn’t always work out that way though. These are the ten worst films I saw in 2009. Please take my word for it and avoid them at all cost.

1. NINE -You can’t just put six Academy Award winners in a film together and simply expect magic to happen. The phenomenal stage musical “Nine” was turned into the worst film of the year. Rob Marshall took the exact same approach to the material as he did with “Chicago,” but the two stories couldn’t be more different, and “Nine” cried out for the touch of a filmmaker, rather than that of a choreographer. There’s not an ounce of a surreal, dreamlike tone that would suggest this is the least bit inspired by Fellini’s “8 ½.” The story is turned into a dull, linear tale of a philandering director, with musical numbers sprinkled throughout, desperately trying to find some context for their placement and purpose. With the exception of Marion Cotillard, who maintains some grace and dignity, the actors are either wasted (Daniel Day-Lewis), boring (Nicole Kidman), or simply awful (Judi Dench). It’s true that perhaps my love for the source material made me that much more disappointed in the film, but that doesn’t the final product. Someone who had never seen a musical could probably tell instantly that this is a piss poor example.

2. X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE -Hollywood, (and especially Fox) don’t care about you. They think so little of you that they will take a popular character from a popular franchise, give him to an inexpensive director and a budget the fraction the size needed, in order to put out a terrible movie that will make double its money back in its opening weekend, before people wise up and figure out they’ve been duped. Don’t let them trick you again. Hugh Jackman should feel ashamed and the fans should be outraged. Well that’s not fair. I know that the fans are outraged, but why did they still go to see it opening weekend? Idiots.

3. THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS -I believe that a really funny, smart, and fascinating movie could have been made from Jon Ronson’s non-fiction book. This just wasn’t it. This film was a tonal nightmare, constantly trying to get you to laugh (unsuccessfully), and five minutes later trying to make you cry. Great actors like George Clooney and Jeff Bridges try their best with some broad and potentially interesting characters, but the terminally bland Ewan McGregor is excruciatingly boring, and since his character is supposed to serve as the eyes and ears of the audience, his boredom quickly spreads to us.

4. 2012 -I really wish that this had been a Summer 2010 release. I would have loved to have seen Roland Emerich try to justify the fun of watching massive destruction and the loss of millions of lives after a real life event like the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Don’t worry. That’s the end of the noble part of my rant. The buzz on this movie was saying that it was so over the top in its destruction that it practically served as a spoof of all those absurd disaster movies like “The Day After Tomorrow.” Sadly that was not the case. It was simply a clone of them. While the action was impressive and bigger than we’d ever seen, this still had a 2 ½ hour plus running time, cheesy (but not in a funny way) dialogue, and too many extra characters including the dignified black president, the scientist nobody will listen to, and the annoying foreign girl with a dog. At about the one hour mark of this, I started to pray that the world really would end.

5. THE BROTHERS BLOOM -Rian Johnson’s debut film, “Brick” was one of my favorite films of the decade. His sophomore effort, “The Brothers Bloom,” was a disaster. Con artist films are supposed to be fun, and you want them to be one step ahead of you. By the end, this movie was so many steps ahead of me, that all I could see anymore was a dot on the horizon. Not only did this film try (and fail) to have the whimsy and style of a Wes Anderson film, but it also had so many plot twists that they started to contradict each other and none of them made any sense. I’m still confused. “Was one of the brothers molested by that guy? Is that why he’s their nemesis? Wait. Weren’t they going to steal something? What happened with that?” I wanted to go on a fun adventure with this excellent cast, including Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, Robbie Coltrane, the master of the con himself, Ricky Jay. All I could ever see in this film though was missed opportunities. I still can’t make heads or tails out of it.

6. TERMINATOR: SALVATION -Part of the fun of the first three Terminator movies was that they involved a foreign entity coming into contact with our world. A sea of unsuspecting people in malls and bars would suddenly be shocked when a cop would suddenly shape shift into metal knives and guns. By setting the new film after Skynet has become self aware and killer robots are the majority, everything gets really dull really fast. This never really felt like a Terminator movie. Just more giant robots, apocalyptic deserts, and speeches about saving humanity and never giving up. Sam Worthington also proved to be a pretty uninspiring leading man. I say we just give him one more chance. The best thing in the whole film was the 30 seconds of CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger, a very impressive special effect. Perhaps with the next Terminator movie, we should give the lead role to him.

7. AWAY WE GO -Sam Mendes’ attempt at hipster indie dramedy was smug, unfunny, and unmoving. A fantastic cast is wasted in this tale of a couple searching the country for the perfect place to live. What do they find on their journey? Familiar stereotypes, clichés, and broad, unbelievable comedy. There was the conservative, alcoholic mother who constantly ignored her children, then we get the extreme opposite, in an ultra liberal mother who breast-feeds her five year old kids and makes love while they’re in bed with her. Hilarious stuff, right? The film almost redeemed itself in its last half hour with some actual poignant and subtle scenes featuring the talented and restrained Chris Messina, Melanie Lynskey, and Paul Schneider. It’s almost enough to save the movie, but alas, it’s too late. The damage is done.

8. MONSTERS VS. ALIENS -Yes. It was an incredible year for animated films. That’s not to say some stinkers didn’t sneak through. Dreamworks animation, which finally won me over last year with the wonderful “Kung Fu Panda,” returned to its roots of thin stories full of pop culture references and lame jokes. This one should have been a lot of fun. Monsters and aliens fighting? Think of the possibilities! It should have been a fun throwback to invasion B movies from the 50’s, maybe with a touch of Godzilla satire thrown in. Instead, we got a stupid blob with Seth Rogan’s voice, a black lagoon type creature, a talking cockroach, and a fifty foot tall Reese Witherspoon. Really? That’s all your imagination can come up with? This film should have been crazy retro fun. Not even the Stephen Colbert cameo could save it.

9. TAKING WOODSTOCK -Very little of the magic and political fervor that made the music festival Woodstock so revolutionary is on display in this film. It’s not surprising, since director Ang Lee made a small film that didn’t have the budget for any of the iconic music, or even enough extras to suggest the masses of people who showed up for the event. We never even get to see the festival in Lee’s film, who chose to focus on the lesser known story of Eliot Tiber, the young man who secured the permit and farm fields for the festival. Tiber is played by the brilliant stand-up comic Demetri Martin, who can’t quite carry a film just yet. At least not this film. Martin seems lost in a sea of subplots that all seem to be out of different movies. A gun-toting transvestite? Crazy Jewish parents? What do they have to do with Woodstock? None of it ever forms a real story, and the dark ending seems to negate everything Lee seemed to be trying to accomplish for the entire film. With Lee being one of my favorite directors and his tremendous cast including Henry Goodman, Imelda Staunton, Eugene Levy, and Liev Schreiber, this was one of the biggest disappointments of the year.

10. MIRACLE AT ST. ANNA -I’m cheating. This film came out in 2008, but I didn’t see it until 2009, and I just can’t let this film off the hook. This film was Spike Lee’s response to the “racist” Clint Eastwood and his “Flags of Our Fathers” films. However, it is this film that is one of the most racist films that I have ever seen. If any other director had made it, Lee would have shouted and complained about this until his throat was sore. Lee borrows every war cliché from the worst movies, not to mention characters and accents that would be right at home in a minstrel show. This must have been the “negro dialect” Harry Reid was talking about. Did I mention that this film lasts a whopping 160 minutes? I lost track of how many flashbacks within flashbacks there were. Spike Lee is one of my favorite filmmakers and I’ve wanted him to attempt a period genre film for years. Now I hope he never tries to make one again.

Whew! That was fun. Can’t believe I even saw so many films last year. The final count was 106. Hopefully 2010 is even better. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. I’m trying to resolve to write more on this site this year. You’ll see more here soon. Now go update your Netflix queues and see some excellent movies.

-Johnny Pomatto

New York Theatre Previews and Reviews. or, Jews and Moores, Cookies and Bread

Hello, friends. Lately I have had theatre on my mind. Part of that is because I’m still deep in rehearsals for “Max Understood” for the New York Musical Festival. It’s the first professional production I’ve ever worked on in New York, and it has been quite the experience. I still plan on giving you a detailed account of the whole ordeal, just as soon as I change the names of all those involved. In the meantime, it would seem that the fall theatre season has begun in New York, and I’m generally unimpressed by this season’s lineup.

There seems to be a lot of “Bye Bye, Birdie” and “Finian’s Rainbow” coming our way. Those are two musicals that I have no desire to see, nor do I suspect anyone else desires to see either. Oh wait. Did I say “Bye Bye Birdie?” Nevermind. Tourists, idiots, tweens, and Stamos fans (see idiots), will have that covered. I smell a hit, Roundabout.

Likewise, in the world of straight drama there is a slough of revivals that I’m struggling to get excited for. Top of that list is David Mamet’s “Oleanna” with Bill Pullman and Julia Stiles. One of Mamet’s weaker plays, I can’t imagine how this small and dated piece will play in a big Broadway house. This is a production that was recently mounted in LA, where it received mixed to negative reviews. Also on Broadway, one of the most exciting stage directors working today, David Cromer (Our Town, Bug, Adding Machine) is directing alternating revivals in rep of “Brighton Beach Memoirs” and “Broadway Bound.” As revolutionary and abstract as Cromer can get, I just don’t know how you can make these traditional Neil Simon plays feel fresh or new in any way.

We also have another production of “Hamlet” coming our way, I believe our third major New York production in as many years. This one stars Jude Law, so that should ensure a crowded theatre, but even though I hear it’s quite good, if not great, I just feel like I’ve seen so many Hamlets in the last few years that I don’t think I can sit through another, no matter how good or dreamy.

The play I’m looking forward to the most is “Superior Donuts” by Tracy Lettes. After the shockingly huge success of “August: Osasge County,” a new Lettes play was destined to get a much buzzed about run, but any fan of his previous plays “Killer Joe” and “Bug” knows that Lettes doesn’t go to the same place twice. I have no idea what to expect from “Superior Donuts” and that’s what makes me so excited.

I’m also quite eager to see the revival of “Ragtime,” which was the first play I ever saw on “Broadway.” E.L. Doctorow’s book is one of my favorites and it has successfully been adapted twice, as a film and as a musical. Aside from some stellar performances and a perfect score, I had some problems with the original Broadway production of the play. It was a little too large in scale with some lackluster direction. However the play itself is quite beautiful and powerful and I’m hoping this new production improves on the original.

Further downtown, The Public Theater will be doing a new play written and directed by Richard Foreman, and starring Willem Dafoe. Richard Foreman is one of the strangest, scariest, and most brilliant directors of all time. There’s very little middle ground when it comes to his plays. You either love them or hate them. Designed to be experiences of sensory overload, some of his trademarks include bright lights shining in the eyes of the audience, loud crashes, glass and tight strings separating the audience and the actors, and plays containing almost no dialogue, except for the occasional repeated phrase such as “Let’s all join… the misfit club!” He has been putting on plays for over thirty years in the attic of the St. Marks Church. While he has worked in large venues many times before, this will be the first epic piece of his I’ll see and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with, even if it becomes an exercise in trying to keep in awkward laughter, so as not to get an angry scowl from Foreman, who always runs the sound and lights for his show from the audience. Wild, scary stuff.

So there are some productions that we have to look forward to and others that we have to dread. This week I kicked off my own theatre season by seeing two new productions. One of them was one of the most anticipated and hottest tickets in town. The other I think you can see in exchange for a pack of gum. Seriously, they’re papering the house.

OTHELLO

“Othello” is the last collaboration between The Public Theater and LAByrinth, who have been producing together for the past three years. Some of their productions, such as “The Last Days of Judas Iscariot” and “A View From 151^st Street” have been triumphs. Others, such as “Guinea Pig Solo” and “The Little Flower of East Orange” have fallen under the “interesting failures” umbrella. Running at over four hours, “Othello” is long enough to land into both categories.

Director Peter Sellars has brought us a stark, scaled down, naked “Othello.” Using a cast of only eight people and having them perform on a nearly bare stage, (save for one major set piece, but more on that later), it can seem like a lot of empty space is surrounding the actors, which is accentuated by the massive stage at the NYU Skirball Center. This probably would have been perfect in one of the smaller spaces at the Public Theater, but with Academy Award winner Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Iago, you know the show is certain to be a hot ticket so why not sell as many as possible?

In order to fill that large space with sound, microphones are used to enhance the actors’ voices. When the mics work, the surround sound can be very off-putting. With some healthy projection, unaltered voices could easily fill the massive theatre, but that wouldn’t allow for all the whispers and soft voices, so beloved of some of these actors.

The usually superb John Ortiz takes quite a while to truly establish his Othello. Though he rarely leaves the stage, he spends so much of the first hour of the play cuddling up with Desdemona in his underwear, that it takes a bit too long for him to feel like Othello, rather than just Desdemona’s boyfriend. It doesn’t help that Othello’s lengthy monologue about how he wooed Desdemona is delivered entirely to his cell phone, complete with fuzzy phone voice. But once Othello makes his journey to Cyprus, both he and Ortiz begin to command authority.

Hoffman’s Iago is quite a unique creation. Never have I seen an actor so resistant to all the laughs that Iago can so easily pull out of the audience. Hoffman’s Iago is not the snidely evil guy, with a crooked half-grin and a curled up lip that we’re used to. Hoffman plays him as an angry, frustrated, incredibly depressed man, who can’t even discuss his hatred of the Moore without breaking down into tears. He’s more thankful than ever for the lucky breaks he gets, since we’re not sure that he’ll be able to have the ability to complete his plan without them. The scene in which he musters the courage to finally plant the seeds of jealousy into Othello’s ear is the most thrilling moment of the show, because we’re seduced not just by the fear of his plan succeeding, but by the notion that Iago’s lack of nerve could allow it to fail. Watching these two actors play against each other for that scene is a thrilling experience and even those well versed in the play will be curious as to what will happen next.

However there’s one character who always seems to know what will happen next, and that’s Desdemona. If Hoffman’s Iago lacks confidence, Jessica Chastain’s Desdemona has it in spades. Chastain seems so calm and centered at all times, it almost feels like she knows the end of the story, knows and has accepted her fate, and I never fully understood what this added to her character, aside from making her less interesting. This approach continues through the very last scene, which is a fairly disappointing climax due to Desdemona’s apparent indifference to her own impending death.

Liza Colon-Zayas is effective as Emilia, playing her as subservient and miserable, but a potentially interesting take on her relationship with Othello is given too brief a moment to really pack the punch it wants to. The smaller roles are doubled up in sometimes bizarre ways, with Bianca also taking a beating, and attempted rape, from Cassio, in the Montano role. But with so much dialogue suggesting conflicting emotions and actions, the conceit doesn’t really work. Much better is Gaius Charles, (Smash from “Friday Night Lights!”) in the usually thankless role of The Duke. He rules with such grace and charm, and the flag pin he wears seems to confirm, that he easily passes as a young Obama.

The most distracting thing in the whole play though, is also its coolest contrivance. The sole set piece on the stage is a giant bed for the lovers to lie on, made of 45 television screens, which produce various images throughout the play. The real benefit of this, (aside from the potential to watch “City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold” 45 times, all at once), is the ability to enhance the lighting design of the play by matching the mood and actions of the story with complimenting images and colors. This had the potential of being really overused and distracting, but instead it’s underused and distracting. More often than not, one can’t really tell what images the screens are actually showing, and you find yourself squinting and trying to solve what looks like a Magic Eye puzzle. Just to make it clear, I did have quite a good seat, and all I could really make out on those screens was a candle flame and some kind of building(?).

Even with all its problems, and its four hour running time, “Othello” never felt boring to me. Ortiz and Hoffman are mesmerizing together, and are able to drive up the intensity whenever they’re on stage. When they’re not on stage, I was still captivated by this wonderful play, which doesn’t seem to sacrifice a single word in this otherwise scaled back production. I wish I could say that this production was as perfect as the play itself. It’s not, but it is a fascinating attempt. I urge everyone to see “Othello.” If you’re only able to catch it here, at The Public Theater, then take what you can get, but hope for something a bit better next time.

THE RETRIBUTIONISTS

For all of you out there who found “Inglourious Basterds” to be too entertaining, exciting, and fun, then you might enjoy “The Retributionists.” It tells the “true” story, of a group of Jewish fighters, who after World War II, attempted to kill thousands of Nazi prisoners in Nuremberg prison by poisoning their bread with arsenic. While that sounds like a fun tale of intrigue, worthy of an eye-patched Tom Cruise, I assure you that there is very little joy to be found here, though plenty of unintentional laughs.

Poisoning Nazis already seems complicated enough, but the majority of the story centers on a love tri… uh, or would it be a squa… hmmmm. Make that a love pentagon. A boring love pentagon. Sigh. Ok. I’m going to try to summarize the plot. Bear with me here.

During the war, Anika, Dov, and Dinchka were living in the forest, holding big guns, and having the occasional bout of three-way sex. They were kind of like that Jewish resistance group of Ewoks from that movie “Defiance,” only I don’t remember Daniel Craig and Jamie Belle ever getting it on just to stay warm. Anyways, when Anika wasn’t bedding Dov and Dinchka, she was also sleeping with Jascha, a fellow soldier with an accent straight of a “Rocky” movie. Everybody loves that girl! After the war, she recruits Jascha to infiltrate Nuremberg’s bakery to poison the bread, and if he is successful, she promises she will marry him, though she is also engaged to Dov. Alright. That’s enough of that.

While this real life situation was probably deadly serious, it’s treated with a light touch in this play. While justice and revenge is brought up from time to time, most of the characters seem to be motivated purely by the desire to fuck and eat cookies. Oh. Real cookies, in case you were wondering. Sex is frequently used as a negotiating tactic, and we end up hearing lines such as “I want to make you pregnant, tonight, on this train into Germany.”

Once the action shifts to the bakery, the tone of the play suddenly invokes that of a sitcom, with a very Lavern and Shirley-esque couple of wisecracking ladies. At this most pivotal and heavy moment in the plan, it just makes the play all the more difficult to take seriously. The tension was too much for the audience to take, and during the final scene they couldn’t hold back anymore, as bottled up laughs finally began to erupt out of them, as the playwright, Daniel Goldfarb, unleashed some basic dramatic irony, worthy of an episode of an episode of “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.”

As awful as “The Retributionists” is, and it certainly is one of the worst plays I’ve ever seen, I still found many things in it to hold my attention. For example, there is a character who is missing a few fingers, and I must admit that I stared at his glove for several minutes, wondering just how the actor had taped down his digits. I hope nobody said anything important while I was doing that. My mind was also racing after I heard this exchange: “’…back when I still had my fingers.’ ‘You’re still hung up on that?’” How long does it take to get over the forcible loss of ones fingers? At least I can’t accuse this play of not making me think.

-Johnny Pomatto

Need Some Netflix Suggestions? Try the Best Films of 2008!

Well the Oscar season has officially begun. I saw "The Informant!" over the weekend and it was one of the absolute best films I've seen this year. A very welcomed sign, because while there have been some truly great films released this year, including "Up," "Inglourious Basterds," "In the Loop," "Humpday," and "The Hurt Locker,"it seems like it has been a slightly weaker year so far than usual. The months between January and May (never a prime time for great releases anyways) barely housed a single film I enjoyed, let alone one worthy of a best of the year list. But there is much coming out this fall to get excited about, and while I hope to write up detailed reviews of some of them in the future, I thought in the meantime I would repost my Best Films list from last year, just to give you an idea of how strong last year was and what this year has to measure up against. So check out this list. Nearly all these films are now available on DVD and if you're looking for a great film to watch, you can't go wrong with any of them. Enjoy.


1. Wall-E -One day, Pixar will make a film about a puddle of mud. We will all see it, and it will be excellent. Andrew Stanton’s ode to life was the most joyously poignant and beautiful film of the year. Pixar films often accomplish this, but rarely do they start in and use such a bleak, depressing backdrop. Rarely have there been funnier physical comedy, or a more touching love story, than the one that these wordless, metal objects created.



2. Man on Wire -I was more moved by this film than I was by any post 9/11 tribute to the Twin Towers. The fact that nobody in the film ever acknowledges the future of these towers in the film only makes it all the more powerful. This documentary was more thrilling than any heist movie and was a satisfying and recognizable portrayal of the idea of obsession with a dream.



3. Happy-Go-Lucky -Mike Leigh’s story of optimism seemed to get shrugged off as too flighty and light by many, but Sally Hawkins’ Poppy isn’t just an excuse to giggle. Poppy may look on the bright side of life, but she doesn’t shy away from dealing with the pain and sadness she encounters. Just watch the scene with Poppy and the homeless man to see why Hawkins deserves an Oscar for her performance. Her scenes with the wonderful Eddie Marsan are hilarious and heartbreaking. And think about it. How often do you see a film featuring numerous scenes between a man and a woman, without ever acknowledging the possibility of the two characters becoming romantically involved?



4. The Wrestler -It’s not over hyped. Mickey Rourke deserves an Oscar for this career defining performance. Darren Aronofsky, usually a director who will take a small scene and fill it with digital effects and complexities, has made a small, simple film that is unrecognizable from his other films. Taking a profession that is all performance and stripping it of all its luster left a film that was starkly simple, real, and sad, but never boring.



5. In Bruges -Considering that playwright Martin McDonagh is notorious for not creating a loose end unless it’s neatly tied up, this film didn’t have a single moment that was expected or routine. A perfect blend of humor, tragedy, violence, and beauty. McDonagh’s dialogue crackles in every scene and the performances by Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Ralph Fiennes are in complete harmony with it and one another. Here’s hoping McDonagh has a long film career ahead of him.



6. Synecdoche, New York -Charlie Kaufman’s film of mirrors is so complex and bizarre that you could probably ask five people what it was about and get five answers. What makes it a great film is that they’d all be right. The perfect ensemble, led by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, seems to be game for anything, so even some of the more questionable plot points in the film come across as thought out, decisive, and fully committed to the world that Kaufman has created.



7. Frost/Nixon -A phenomenal adaptation of a play that already felt like a tight, brisk film. Peter Morgan’s writing is enough for the film and historical meeting to speak for itself, but it is backed by Ron Howards concise direction and true knowledge of television and the era, and also the terrific performances by Frank Langella and (the constantly overlooked) Michael Sheen. This film is so entertaining and gripping, it almost makes you forget about its importance and real life significance. Almost.



8. A Christmas Tale -This lovely French film couldn’t have less to do with Christmas, but nothing like a holiday to bring a family together to examine all their relationships and inner emotions. The beauty of this typically familiar story is that every scene that you expect to see in film takes place off-camera. What we’re left with is all the seemingly insignificant moments that are actually what best displays the characters’ true feelings and motivations. Superb performances from Catherine Deneuve, Anne Consigny, and Mathieu Almaric.



9. Milk -This might have just been another typical serviceable but standard biopic, if it were not helped by the powerhouse performances (led by a never better Sean Penn), the smart and simple direction by Gus Van Zant, and the sheer power of the subject matter, that because of the recent election climate, never felt more topical or relevant. I had no idea who Harvey Milk was until my senior year of high school. Hopefully, because of this film, people won’t have to wait so long to know who he was and what he stood for.



10. The Dark Knight -Yes. It’s a little too long. It’s not perfect. But I couldn’t possibly leave off what might just be the greatest super hero film ever made. Batman and his plight have never had a bleaker or darker setting and struggle. Christopher Nolan wisely took this heroic character completely outside of the fantasy world and set him in the real world. We could finally see what our world might be like with a true hero in it, and its brilliance is that it shows more problems caused by his presence than actual success. Many ethical questions were raised by the film, and Nolan had the balls to not present easy answers to them. And of course I must mention Heath Ledger, who not only redefined the character of The Joker, but also redefined the notion of a villain altogether.



Honorable Mention: The Bank Job, Burn After Reading, Encounters at the End of the World, Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Gran Torino, My Winnipeg, Rachel Getting Married, Waltz With Bashir.



Special Award For Summer Movies: Some of the best films of the year were released on over 3,000 screens and intended for the summer masses. Iron Man, Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Kung Fu Panda, and yes, even Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull were a refreshing change of pace from the usual giant change of pace from the usual giant robot garbage we’ve been subjected to in recent previous summers. These films didn’t quite make my list, but any of them easily could have.





This next list of films also didn’t quite make my top ten, but they are all great films that you may not have heard of. I consider it my duty to make you aware. You can’t go wrong with any of them.



Bigger, Stronger, Faster -Chris Bell’s fantastically entertaining documentary managed to take an issue that I didn’t really care one way or another about (steroid use) and captivate me for every minute of it.



Four Months, Three Weeks, Two Days -From Romania, which is becoming the new film capital of Europe, this intense, stark, depressing look at a woman’s limited options when she has an unwanted pregnancy is difficult to watch but truly excellent.



The Hammer -One of my favorite comedies of year barely even got a release. Adam Carolla drew from his own life to create a deeply personal, independent, romantic comedy about a loser getting one last chance to chase his dream of becoming a boxer. Like “The Wrestler,” but much funnier. One of the most quotable films of the year with some of the funniest one-liners I’ve heard in some time.



My Winnipeg -One of my absolute favorite films of the year. Guy Maddin’s beautiful, funny film is part documentary, part love letter, part Freudean nightmare. His use of black and white imagery is like watching a modern silent film, and his use of music brings to mind a night at the ballet.



The Promotion -A nice, simple comedy that takes what would ordinarily be an absurd, cartoon-like premise, but treats it in a realistic way with characters reacting irrationally, but in a manner people actually would in that situation.



Sangre De Mi Sangre -This film was so under the radar, even I didn’t know it had been released. This film won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance in 2007, under the better title “Padre Nuestro.” It’s a fantastic cat and mouse story of a Mexican immigrant in New York looking for his father, and the criminal who steals the boy’s identity, and his father as well. Deserves to find an audience on video.



Snow Angels -David Gordon Green’s stunningly beautiful film deals with horrible tragedy, but manages to be sweet, even uplifting, as we see the people around the events reacting to them by trying to find love of their own. Nobody seemed to see this. That’s the real tragedy.



Son of Rambow -This fantastic family film was released on the same day as “Iron Man,” so it also got lost in the shuffle. I love this delightful, innocent fable about kids making their own movie. Captures a time when a PG movie wasn’t stupid or condescending.

Speed Racer -An absolute mess of a film. I only include it here because it’s not as bad as people say. Too long, confusing, and ridiculous at over 2 hours, but a lot of fun nonetheless. Had it been a brisk 80 minutes there would be little to hate here… other than Emile Hirsch.



Tell No One -Probably the best thriller I saw all year. So many twists and turns that it’s impossible to predict them all. Keeps you guessing until the very end.



Timecrimes -The first feature by Nacho Vigalondo was not as groundbreaking or original as I had heard, but still a fun, low budget sci-fi film nonetheless. After seeing Nacho’s short films, I still eagerly anticipate to see what he can do with feature films.



Towelhead -This overlooked film was sometimes a bit heavy handed and over the top. Can life really be this horrible for a teenage girl? But it is absolutely worth seeing for the performances of Peter Macdissi and Aaron Eckhart.







And now… The Worst Films of the Year. Now this is only based on what I’ve seen. I try not to subject myself to bad films. Had I seen everything, I’m sure the honor would go to “Meet the Spartans” or “Disaster Movie.” These were my least favorite films of the year.



1. Mama Mia -A horribly made film by a first time director (Phyllida Lloyd) who had no idea what she was doing. Everything went wrong here. The lighting, the choreography, the ADR, the continuity. Every time the camera started to move I prayed for Lloyd’s career. This kind of thing usually isn’t my cup of tea, but I saw the play and didn’t totally hate it. It worked for what it was. This was just a failure in every way. Lloyd hoped that by making it look like everyone on screen was having so much fun that, in turn, the audience would have fun as well. You know you’re in trouble when Meryl Streep interrupts the end credits to ask “Do you want it? One more song?” and then proceeds to sing regardless of what the audience screams back.



2. The Love Guru -This might have been funny twenty years ago. Mike Meyers’ sense of humor is so dated that he can’t get a single laugh from his core audience who has done a lot of growing up since Austin Powers.



3. My Blueberry Nights -Even arty films can be garbage. Wong Kar Wai’s English language debut looks stunningly beautiful. If only his actors (and I use the term loosely when talking about Nora Jones), never actually opened their mouths. This film got more laughs than “The Love Guru.” But this wasn’t supposed to be a comedy.



4. Cloverfiend -This wasn’t a bad idea for a movie. It just fails in execution. A handheld camera may have added realism, but nothing else. If this had been made by a film student for $2000, I could forgive it. This was made by a major studio. To see a better example of this kind of film, check out “The Host.”



5. Bottle Shock -This film about Napa Valley wines versus the French was written by four screenwriters. You can tell that each one took a different part of the film to write and then they were all put together without any care for if the stories worked together. They didn’t.



6. The Other Boleyn Girl -A period piece with no beauty, script, or decent performances. Trying to turn Henry VIII’s life into a soap opera would be better suited for… well apparently not for TV either.



7. Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist -Did you hate “Juno?” You’ll love it after you see this garbage. If this talented, young cast were playing their own ages, it might have worked better. But I’ve never met a teenager who was anything like any of these kids. I know I took it too seriously, but this film doesn’t even work as a fantasy.



8. The Wackness -Most of what I said in the entry above applies here as well. I love Ben Kingsly, but just because you have him smoking pot and hanging out with a teenager, doesn’t mean you have enough for a whole movie.



9. Australia -Making a romantic epic shouldn’t be hard. Simple love story against a beautiful backdrop. If Hugh and Nicole had just done that you might have had a movie. Instead we got something about cattle suppliers competing with each other and constant references to “The Wizard of Oz.” This movie tried to be funny when it should have been serious, and tried to be serious when it should have been over.



10. Wanted -Not a horrible film, but a horribly stupid film. If so many friends of mine didn’t like it I could forgive it. However… a magic loom, people? A MAGIC LOOM? And calm down, people. This isn’t the first time Morgan Freeman has said “fuck.” This was successful so expect a sequel. Unfortunately the film killed off every character who was halfway interesting. Now we’re stuck with James McAvoy.

(Editor's Note: I had not yet seen "Sex and the City" and "The Reader" when I originally made up this list. Both films would be very high on my "worst" list.)




-Johnny Pomatto

9/9/09: May God Have Mercy On Us All

What a fantastic day this has been! September 9^th, 2009! Don’t you know what that is, people? 9/9/09! THAT’S ALL NINES! Oh. Except for that zero in there. But you’re missing the point. Exciting things are happening on this day. Events worthy of a Nostradamus prediction. Like, uh… well for one thing, “The Beatles Rock Band” came out today! That’s going to be pretty cool! And are you ready for this? A new movie opened today too. Care to guess what it’s called? “9!” That’s right, people. A movie called “9” on 9/9/09! What are the odds?

What is with the number nine? Does it look good on a marquee or something? This year we are having no fewer than four movies with 9 in the title. The musical “Nine,” the animated apocalyptic film “9,” the fantastic sci-fi film “District 9,” and even an independent claymated film from Australia called “$9.99.” That one gives you three 9’s for the price of one! The movies “9” and “Nine” alone are sure to cause at least a bit of confusion later on. I picture a group of screaming eight year olds complaining that they wanted to see an exciting adventure cartoon and instead they have to listen to Nicole Kidman sing. Hell, that might make ME scream and complain too.

I just don’t remember this much hubbub last year on 8/8/08. What’s that, good friend in my living room as I type this? What did you say? Oh. According to my friend Matt and others in the Internet community, 8/8/08 WAS a big deal last year. As was 7/7/07. Apparently they are considered lucky days and are popular for weddings and good days to do a lot gambling on.

So what is my point? Bah. I don’t know. I was really reaching here. I thought it could stretch this into a longer article. So my apologies, friends. I haven’t updated much of anything on this site or others in the last few weeks. I’ve been very busy working tech on a show for the New York Musical Festival (NYMF. Cute, right?). It’s called “Max Understood” and I have many stories to tell about it. But those will have to be saved for another day. In the meantime, enjoy the remaining hours of 9/9/09, with a classic segment from Schoolhouse Rock. Goodnight, friends.

-Johnny Pomatto

Avatar: It's Not Easy Being Blue

In the last several months (or has it been years), I’ve heard so many descriptions of what to expect from James Cameron’s first film in over a decade: “Avatar.” My friends with inside knowledge on the project have tried to describe the story to me, but nothing has stuck in my memory. When James Cameron spoke about the film for twenty minutes at this year’s E3, I found myself even more confused at the end of his presentation than I was before he started. However, after seeing last night’s 3D IMAX presentation of 16 minutes of the film, I finally feel like I know what the movie is about. “Oh. I get it. The humans want to blend in with the alien tribe so they take on their form through avatar bodies and they slowly integrate into their culture, learning that they’re not so different after all! Right? Right?” Still not quite sure.

I don’t think that “Avatar” looks unlike anything we’ve ever seen before, at least in terms of technical wizardry and story. I don’t even know if it will be the best science fiction film we’ve seen in years, especially since I just bestowed that honor on “District 9” but a week ago. I will, however, give it credit for having a style and visuals that look unique and different from most science fiction films I’ve seen. I love the setting of the jungle planet, filled with vegetation and creatures that look familiar to ones found on earth, but with subtle twists to make them seem fantastical, yet almost believable. In the several scenes featured in the presentation yesterday, most involved confrontations with rhino-like charging beasts, vicious reptilian snarling dogs, and spectacular flying creatures that require taming before they can be mounted. If nothing else, “Avatar” should be a fun creature-feature, not unlike “Jurassic Park” or “King Kong.”

But speaking of those creatures, I’ve heard a lot of complaints that the film looks like it has too much CGI. I think it’s a fair complaint, though I must admit that the footage and animation looked very sharp and impressive in 3D IMAX. I would actually take the complaint a little farther, though I’m not sure yet if it really bothers me. It occurred to me after watching the footage yesterday, that once the humans adopt their avatar forms, they too become CGI creatures, and then are dropped down into the mostly animated jungles and surrounded by animated beasts. At that point, does the film then become simply an animated film? I’m sure the actors were motion captured for their roles, but I certainly hope the film doesn’t end up looking like just another “The Polar Express” or “Beowulf.”

I’m still quite excited by most of what I saw. The live action footage of Stephen Lang talking to his cadets had a B movie quality to it, not unlike the training scenes of “Starship Troopers.” The jungles and creatures used a color palate not often found in film, such as pinks, purples, blues, and greens, all with a kind of shiny, metallic tint. The 3D was very impressive, though one scene was so fast paced I could barely tell what was going on, what with all the trees and branches in the foreground. The story might be a bit too “Dances With Wolves,” but Cameron might also be aware of that and could be keeping it in check. There is, after all, a reference to that film in the footage I saw, when someone suggests that the lead avatar try to dance with one of the giant creatures that looks poised to kill him. It does still concern me a bit that the story might be more familiar and less original than we have prepared ourselves to expect. Even the central conceit of humans using avatar bodies has been borrowed by at least two other films coming out this fall, “Gamer” and “Surrogate.” I’m sure “Avatar” will be far better than both those films, but I hope we don’t have to look too hard to find what is still original and groundbreaking about this film.

What was the fan reaction? I suppose there was some moderately enthusiastic applause from about half the audience. I even raised my fist in the air and shouted “YEAH!” though I don’t think that was entirely sincere. The couple I was with was so split over it that they started fighting, with one of them getting so upset over his girlfriend being unimpressed that he threatened not to see the film with her come December. It was all very George and Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” I’m still keeping my expectations and skepticism in check, though the fact that James Cameron is so excited for this film gets me excited too and I can’t wait to see what he’s been cooking in his brain for the last twelve years. I watched “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” last week for the first time in a long time and I was astonished at how great it still was and how many details I remembered after all these years. “Avatar” may not be the classic that film was, but when I stuck my ticket to the December 18^th midnight show on to my refrigerator, I got a very anxious feeling. Something is coming. Just a few months away. Could be big. Don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’ve still got some time to get ready for it.

-Johnny Pomatto

Ernest Goes To Jail. What Was His Crime? Being Too Lovable.

There was an all too brief time when Jim Varney’s Ernest P. Worrell was a cultural icon. At first he was limited to State Fair appearances and car dealership commercials, but somewhere along the way, he became the star of four successful theatrical films, and later, five direct to video follow-ups. I’ve taken to regularly asking my friends which is their favorite Ernest movie. I get a lot of “Ernest Goes To Camp,” and a few misguided bastards who defend “Saves Christmas” and “Scared Stupid. But very rarely do I hear people mention what is far and away Varney’s greatest film.

“Ernest Goes To Jail” is the most classically influenced Ernest film to date. His role of a night janitor in a bank harkens back to memories of W.C. Fields in "The Bank Dick." The bank itself offers an exciting set piece and the opening scene in which Ernest becomes electromagnetic is inventive and exciting, as Ernest is attacked by filing cabinets, staplers, and safety deposit boxes. It is a completely original scene, not featured in a film before or since. The film also includes another wonderfully hilarious sequence in which Ernest starts to chew on a pen, only to have it explode, covering his mouth and face in black ink.

So far, so good, but how is sweet, simple-minded Ernest going to get to jail? We keep seeing ominous scenes of a prisoner known only as Mr. Nash. We always just see him from behind. Who is this mysterious stranger and what could he possibly have to do with the A story? It isn't until Ernest is hilariously and proudly serving his civic duty on a jury when we learn that Ernest is the exact double of Mr. Nash. That's right. In a move that can only be described as Shakespearean, Jim Varney plays a dual role!

Now it would have been easy for him to play a really funny villain, but he doesn't. Mr. Nash is an evil, murdering, hardened criminal. A nice stretch for Varney. This adds a real sense of suspense and danger once Nash is out and disguised as Ernest. In his attempts to rob the bank that Ernest works for, we never know if he's going to kill one of Ernest's friends Chuck and Bobby, (the hilarious and expressive team of Gailard Sartain and Bill Byrge, reprising their roles from most of Ernest’s other films), or even rape his potential girlfriend. It is the Mr. Nash scenes that confirm this to be Varney's greatest and most layered performance.

The set piece of the prison is also delightfully surreal. It's not the least bit realistic but rather is washed in nightmarish colors of purples, pinks, and greens. Ernest’s prison uniform magically becomes an inmate-green version of his signature costume. The prison guards are dressed in cartoony broad shouldered uniforms. Every scene in the prison feels more like a dream sequence that Ernest might wake up from at any minute… but of course he never does.

Most of the humor is derived from Ernest's many escape attempts, including one in which he dresses up as his famous alter-ego, Auntie Nelda. It is also in jail where seemingly just for fun, he stands in front of the mirror and does a spot on James Mason impression. Now people write off Ernest as a character geared towards children and rednecks, but clearly Mr. Varney's cultural horizons expand far beyond that, plucking out an impression of an actor that most children have never even heard of. In fact, you won’t find a single child in the whole film. How refreshing that we are able to watch adults do stupid comedy, without having children present to announce to the audience that this is indeed a family comedy. This notion would already be completely abandoned by the time “Ernest Scared Stupid” came around, with Ernest and a bunch of kids working together to stop a troll. At that point, he was just paving the way for his Saturday morning variety show.

This still is a movie for kids, though it does go into truly dark territory at the end when Mr. Nash, (though really Ernest), is sentenced to death by the electric chair. These are high stakes, people. The threat is real here, and the danger is thrilling to the point that we actually see Ernest sitting down in the chair, about to die. Of course he does not, but the switch is pulled, with the executioner showing little remorse in his eagerness to kill our beloved, redneck icon. Due to his magnetized state from the beginning of the film, the electricity doesn't kill Ernest, but rather turns him into Ernest P. Worell: Electro-Man, giving him the power to shoot lighting from his hands. If the film was starting to lose anyone, this is the point where it wins us back.

Ernest goes on a rampage and successfully escapes from prison just in time to attempt to stop Nash from robbing the bank and blowing up his girlfriend. However the electric powers fade away, but new powers arise. Suddenly he is given the ability to be weightless and Ernest begins to bounce around in zero gravity. Between this and the Electro-Man scenes, this is the first introduction of magical-realism in the Ernest universe. It’s like Calderon’s “Life is a Dream” with toilet-plunger jokes.

After a spectacular finale of Ernest fighting Nash and flying around the bank, he flies the bomb high into the air and seemingly explodes. As everyone is mourning Ernest's death and hailing him as a hero, Ernest falls down to earth and utters the immortal phrase, "I came, I saw, I got blowed up." Truer words were never spoken. Most films would have some sort of a coda or an epilogue. Not this one. Funny line, face-first fall, and roll credits. Any more of a wrap up would just be filler, but we do get the nice moral lesson a little earlier when Ernest gives his cellmate friend a chance to escape and he refuses. The probable violent offender (and likely racist) states that he belongs in prison and that at the end of the day, prison is a pretty nice place for a guy like him.

This would be the last truly great Ernest movie, though the direct to video "Ernest Rides Again" comes close. After that it would all be visits to Africa and chance encounters with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Sure, his adventure at camp is pretty good, but I think you'll now agree that this film truly pushed boundaries, at least as much as an Ernest movie can. "Know what I mean?"

-Johnny Pomatto

Who Could Be "Revolt"ed By This "Youth?"

America seems to be cooling to the hilarious young man that is Michael Cera. On "Arrested Development" he seemed to reinvent the very notion of the awkward teen. But after seeing variations on the same character in "Juno," "Superbad," and the unbearable "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist," people know what to expect and they're starting to tire of it. I'm a bit on the fence though. I would love to see Cera play George Michael once again for an "Arrested Development" movie, and then maybe see him channel the character once more for a good indie comedy just to say goodbye. In the meantime, I look forward to him playing a different set of roles, as I see a lot of potential and range in him. I would love to see Cera play an unlikable asshole. I'm very excited to see how he fares as the title role in Edgar Wright's "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World." Cera has a film coming out this fall called "Youth in Revolt." I knew absolutely nothing about this film, nor its tone. A friend of mine saw this a few weeks ago. He wrote up a review and submitted to Aint It Cool News. They never posted it however, so he sent it my way and after reading it, I thought I'd post it here for you all to read as well. I don't think I'm violating any rules or embargoes by putting this online. I'm even protecting my friend's identity. Hope you all enjoy.

-Pomatto

Youth In Reviolt

I’ve just had the privilege of seeing what was introduced as “one of the first” screenings of the upcoming romantic comedy Youth in Revolt, which is evidently due for an October release. The film, starring Michael Cera, features a veritable “star studded cast,” including supporting performances by Jean Smart, Steve Buscemi, Fred Willard, Ray Liotta and Zack Galifianakis. Miguel Arteta directed, which surprised me, since I didn’t think he would have the gall to make any new films after The Good Girl (2002), which, I must admit, I saw once when I was sick with the flu.

The film is a sort of mixed bag. We have the typical story of a youth attempting to transition into adulthood, though of course he finds no easier recourse for achieving this apart from getting laid. He meets a girl, falls in love and becomes intent on romance. The film follows his growth into the character he thinks will best woo the object of his affections.

Michael Cera plays this impossible, youthful – and virginal – aesthete called Nick Twisp who is marooned with a dysfunctional family in Berkeley/Oakland. After his mother’s boyfriend gyps a group of naval officers, the motley crew embarks on a claymated journey to a trailer in the woods, where he meets the equally snobbish Sheeni (Portia Doubleday), who more or less shares his lonely despair, and quickly falls in love. The two share a passion for literary culture, but Sheeni, with her posters of JP Belmondo, fantasizes about an eventual French lover – though she is dating some d-bag named Trent.

To meet her romantic ideal of a manly man, Nick creates for himself a second personality: Francois Dillinger, a pastiche of a French tough-guy anti-hero, chain-smoking, snappily dressed and of few words, most of them obscene. Francois, assuming the sort of Tyler Durden role, encourages Nick to act out in order to get the girl. The film follows Nick/Francois on the path to wooing Sheeni.

It was nice to see a romantic comedy aim for something so absurd and capitalize on the (often awkward) personae of its actors. The humor is quirky and generally on the mark, though there was often a lot of laughter at moments that I did not think were intended to be funny, as well as moments where the audience was expected to laugh and there was nary a chuckle. Some standout scenes include the first introduction of Francois to Nick’s mother, Francois and Nick wreaking havoc in Berkeley and – most potent of all – the impeccable sequence wherein Nick attempts to fake his own death.

However, there are several elements of the film which stumble or flat-out fail. Firstly, Ms. Doubleday’s performance is simply awful, though this is no indication of her acting ability as much as it is a symptom of the mostly unlikable character she is portraying. Unlike Nick, Sheeni’s snobbish demeanor feels coquettish, unfair and annoying; at one point she chides Nick for being a virgin, but has herself only had one sexual experience. While Nick’s interest in literature seems deep-seeded and meaningful to his character, her love for French culture feels affected and false, serving no character development.

The supporting cast, though impressive, is similarly, almost startlingly, misused. Jean Smart plays a whorish, white trash mom who lives on the child support payments from ex-husband Steve Buscemi and the kindness of her boyfriends, played by Zack G and Ray Liotta. Smart has enough screen time to make her character work well enough, but the remaining supporting cast appears only briefly and often meaninglessly (though both Fred Willard and Justin Long drawing huge laughs in their respective short screen times).

It’s also impossible to review this film without making mention of a scene involving psychedelic mushrooms. This sequence, while book-ended by two very funny gags (courtesy of Francois, as well as the helpful sexual advice of thankfully underused side-character Lefty), sort of struggles along, causing dim-witted fits of laughter among only the most dim-witted of audience members at the simple presence of psychedelic mushrooms.

Finally, there is the point of Michael Cera. On one hand, with Nick, he plays the same character we have come to expect – a gawky, nerdish type. Francois, however, is an interesting case; we don’t really ever feel that he is supposed to be a completely independent character from Nick, but we get the impression that he is the character Nick imagines Sheeni wants. So it is still Michael Cera playing his gawky, nerdish type, only this time there is a subtle shift in the performance worth noticing. This is probably not enough to distract anyone critical or bored with a typical Cera performance, but it was slightly refreshing to this viewer.

The film screened tonight was a work print, which was, as anyone who has attended an advanced screening can attest, introduced as an unfinished version. However, it seemed to me to be pretty much complete, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the final cut of the film. In a brief group afterward, I learned that there potentially exists a different version of the ending, which I can only hope does not see the light of day. Though there are a few dragging moments, the ending of the film provides a perfect cap to the previous events of the 110-ish minute runtime, pulling us back into reality.

It will be interesting to see how this film is marketed in the coming months; I imagine it might make a really good trailer, but find difficulty in TV spots, due to its slightly weird plot devices. The film, which is absolutely deserving of an R-rating, might be too light for older audiences, but too sophisticated or intellectual for the young’ns. Overall, despite its occasionally darker depiction of teenage angst, Youth in Revoltis recommended to fans of lighter-fare comedies or fans of Michael Cera.

-Proust